Happy 21st Birthday to my son Dominic! My heart is seriously breaking knowing that Dom has no family or friends around to help him celebrate. Well I shouldn't say no friends since I know he has made some new ones' while in Mississippi. But I am sorry, knowing Dominic's desire to be with his family and friends, it is not the same! Everyone that knows Dom, can tell you, that he has been waiting for the big 2 - 1 for quite sometime now!
We sent Dom his "birtday box" chocked full of goodies and treats, his favorite cologn and birthday cards. He is also able to wear civilian clothes on the weekends so we packed some of his favorite shorts and shirts! He loves receiving packages so I know this made him happy! Dom called last night and said that he wishes he was home to celebrate with Freddy! It broke my heart to hear him say this, but I didn't let on! But in the next breath he said that is all the more celebrating he will have to do when he gets home on Liberty in a few weeks!
Dominic is looking forward to going out on the town on Tuesay with some of his sailor buddies to celebrate his 21st! He couldn't go out today or tonight because he has a Physical Training test tomorrow and he wants to be in perfect shape. He has been working out alot in order to be very prepared! Then on Monday night he has watch - so that leads him to Tuesday to be able to go out and celebrate!
Each day I talk to Dominic he is happy and telling us all about what he has been up to! He is energetic and very satisfied with what he is doing! He says often that he knows this was the best thing for him! Since today is very hard for me, being so far from Dom, I just keep thinking how happy and content he is in the Navy! I will just keep closing my eyes and thinking good thoughts!!!!!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Decisions, Decisions!
Well it is amazing how fast things can change! 8 weeks ago, when Dominic was still in bootcamp, he had written us a letter telling us that when he got to write down his choices of where he would like to be stationed he was putting Dover, Delaware down as his first choice and Virginia as his second choice. His dad told him he was surprised as one of the reasonings that Dominic gave us for choosing the Navy was because he wanted to travel and see the world. And now, because he was so homesick and totally hated anything that had to do with the Navy, during his first few weeks in Great Lakes, he was choosing a base which was close to home. I of course, knowing how homesick he was and knowing I would get to see him often, was happy he was choosing a base close to home!
As days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, I am amazed at the transformation that has taken place with my youngest son Dominic. When Dom called home about three weeks ago he, once again, talked to us about his choices for bases to be stationed. Very confidentantly he told us that he was contemplating putting Italy down as his first base. I was shocked. He said the only problem, besides missing the family so much, he was concerned with the price of airfare - since the sailors would always have to pay 1 way. He said he would be afraid that he wouldn't be able to get home enough when he had scheduled leave due to lack of money to pay for the airfare. Although I was still partially speechless, I told him that he would never, ever have to worry about the cost of airfare, that whenever he would be able to come home, we would always find a way to get the money together for him to travel. Well his next call he told us that he put in for Italy as his first choice and Spain for his second choice. I didn't get real panicked because after talking to alot of people, I was informed that sailors usually do not get their preferred choices - due to so many requests. Although I loved the idea of Dominic traveling - which was his wish - I really didn't want him to be stationed in Europe. Eight weeks ago, being stationed overseas, was one of the reasons he didn't follow through with the SWCC - as he couldn't imagine choosing to be so far from home.
Well, surprise, Dominic called last week and was ecstatic and overjoyed! I hadn't heard him this excited in ages. He announced that he received his shipout orders and he will be heading to Italy - SICILY - for two years, shore duty! Just hearing his excitement, do you know I was immediately jumping for joy when he gave me the news. I thought at this time I would have fallen apart, when my baby told me he would be going to Europe for two years! But, ironically, it was the complete opposite! My heart was seriously exploding from excitement and happiness for Dominic. He was just freaked that he got Sicily, as he had also heard that it is very rare you get your first choice. He called a few times that day, and we talked all about him traveling to Sicily and how wonderful it was going to be. His mind was working a million miles a minute. Again, I haven't heard him this excited in a very, very long time!
And here we are, spreading the word of his plans, and even making our own plans for Sicily! Dominic will be finishing "A" school by the end of May and coming home for 21 days!!! Now that the excitement of his great news is wearing off - now he is just excited to get home for his extended liberty! All he can talk about now is the "kick-ass" BBQ we will be having when he returns. He is spreading the word - like wildfire! Gosh, I haven't felt this happy inside, for my son Dom, in a very long time! He is confident, positive, brave, and standing on his own. Relief, again, sets in! I know I am putting the day he leaves for Italy on the back burner, and I refuse to think about how my heart is going to be ripping out when I say goodbye! I am not going to think of that now - only the positive things!
Also wanted to mention - that Freddy had an operation on his hand and got a plate and 8 screws put in. The doctors are hoping for a full recovery with full movement of all his fingers. He is doing well and I LOVED taking care of him! I know by now he is getting tired of us pampering him and he needs to get back to his place!!! But I will take care of him as long as he wants!!!! God, at this moment, I really miss my two sons being little boys again. When I used to be able to kiss all their tears and fears away, when we used to stay in and watch TGIF and make milkshakes on Friday nights! Oh well, life goes on...
As days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, I am amazed at the transformation that has taken place with my youngest son Dominic. When Dom called home about three weeks ago he, once again, talked to us about his choices for bases to be stationed. Very confidentantly he told us that he was contemplating putting Italy down as his first base. I was shocked. He said the only problem, besides missing the family so much, he was concerned with the price of airfare - since the sailors would always have to pay 1 way. He said he would be afraid that he wouldn't be able to get home enough when he had scheduled leave due to lack of money to pay for the airfare. Although I was still partially speechless, I told him that he would never, ever have to worry about the cost of airfare, that whenever he would be able to come home, we would always find a way to get the money together for him to travel. Well his next call he told us that he put in for Italy as his first choice and Spain for his second choice. I didn't get real panicked because after talking to alot of people, I was informed that sailors usually do not get their preferred choices - due to so many requests. Although I loved the idea of Dominic traveling - which was his wish - I really didn't want him to be stationed in Europe. Eight weeks ago, being stationed overseas, was one of the reasons he didn't follow through with the SWCC - as he couldn't imagine choosing to be so far from home.
Well, surprise, Dominic called last week and was ecstatic and overjoyed! I hadn't heard him this excited in ages. He announced that he received his shipout orders and he will be heading to Italy - SICILY - for two years, shore duty! Just hearing his excitement, do you know I was immediately jumping for joy when he gave me the news. I thought at this time I would have fallen apart, when my baby told me he would be going to Europe for two years! But, ironically, it was the complete opposite! My heart was seriously exploding from excitement and happiness for Dominic. He was just freaked that he got Sicily, as he had also heard that it is very rare you get your first choice. He called a few times that day, and we talked all about him traveling to Sicily and how wonderful it was going to be. His mind was working a million miles a minute. Again, I haven't heard him this excited in a very, very long time!
And here we are, spreading the word of his plans, and even making our own plans for Sicily! Dominic will be finishing "A" school by the end of May and coming home for 21 days!!! Now that the excitement of his great news is wearing off - now he is just excited to get home for his extended liberty! All he can talk about now is the "kick-ass" BBQ we will be having when he returns. He is spreading the word - like wildfire! Gosh, I haven't felt this happy inside, for my son Dom, in a very long time! He is confident, positive, brave, and standing on his own. Relief, again, sets in! I know I am putting the day he leaves for Italy on the back burner, and I refuse to think about how my heart is going to be ripping out when I say goodbye! I am not going to think of that now - only the positive things!
Also wanted to mention - that Freddy had an operation on his hand and got a plate and 8 screws put in. The doctors are hoping for a full recovery with full movement of all his fingers. He is doing well and I LOVED taking care of him! I know by now he is getting tired of us pampering him and he needs to get back to his place!!! But I will take care of him as long as he wants!!!! God, at this moment, I really miss my two sons being little boys again. When I used to be able to kiss all their tears and fears away, when we used to stay in and watch TGIF and make milkshakes on Friday nights! Oh well, life goes on...
Monday, April 5, 2010
We are a Very Lucky Family
At 6 am Easter morn we received a phone call telling us that our Freddy was in a serious car accident on the Roosevelt Blvd. It is one of the worst call any parent could ever receive. Luckilly my dear friend Anne Marie was the one that called us - so within seconds she was able to tell us that he would be alright. We were scared to death. We flew down to Temple Hospital where we picked him up. It turns out Freddy has a broken hand - with two broken bones being tangled around each other. We are heading out to the specialist this afternoon where we will be able to get more information on his condition. Freddy and his friends that were in the car were very lucky to have walked away from the accident with the injuries they incurred. Sal received 35 stitches in his mouth and Mongo's ear was all ripped up - but he was ok.
As we were driving to the hospital a million scenarios were going through my head. We weren't really sure what was wrong at this point so all I kept thinking of was Dominic is going to be so upset that he can't be here for his brother. Without seeing Freddy and knowing how serious things were, I just kept wondering what I was going to tell Dom without making him be so upset when he is so many miles away. This was Dominic's main concern before he left you know. He asked me many times what would happen if something bad happened to someone in the family - how we he get to us.
Ironically after we got home, within 10 minutes Dominic text us to say Happy Easter. Of course, even though Freddy was home with us, I still didn't want to tell him, because I knew he would be upset. As much as I wanted to say nothing - I made him a promise before he left. He asked that if anything were to go wrong with anyone, we have to be honest with him and let him know right away. Although I promised him, I knew he still didn't have faith in my promise - as 2 years ago I had let him down after making this same promise. I will never live that lie down.
When Fred found out he had cancer, we didn't tell my sons for about 5 days. They knew something was wrong but we beat all around the bush before we could bring ourselves to tell them this devastating news. When we finally told them they were so upset that we didn't share the news with them immediately. They both felt let down because we didn't have enough faith in them. Do you know, even though we knew our sons were upset, there were still many times that followed that we tried to protect them from his serious conditions and treatments. Even though they were young men, we found it hard to break such sad news to them. We always tried to sugarcoat things to protect their hearts. I know that we have scarred them from thinking we can be honest with them. I swear we couldn't help it while we were doing it.
Anyway this is what made me tell Dom immediately what happened with Freddy. I emailed him the pictures of the car and we talk in length about everything. I text him that I know he is a brave man now - so I hope he believes that from here on in I will always be honest with him. He believed me, thank God. He handled everything well, because he knows Freddy will be fine.
We were hosting the Easter Party for my family so I had to follow thru since we had all the food at our house! We actually got in 1 hour before everyone arrived. We planned that they would just have let themselves in if we weren't home yet, since everything was all ready to go! Although I was so happy my family was with me now, I couldn't help but think what a horrible Easter this was for me. Although I feel blessed Freddy was fine and that everyone in my family was together - I hated that Dominic wasn't with us and that I still was shaken from the horrible call I received that Easter Morn. But all in all - we are a very lucky family.
As we were driving to the hospital a million scenarios were going through my head. We weren't really sure what was wrong at this point so all I kept thinking of was Dominic is going to be so upset that he can't be here for his brother. Without seeing Freddy and knowing how serious things were, I just kept wondering what I was going to tell Dom without making him be so upset when he is so many miles away. This was Dominic's main concern before he left you know. He asked me many times what would happen if something bad happened to someone in the family - how we he get to us.
Ironically after we got home, within 10 minutes Dominic text us to say Happy Easter. Of course, even though Freddy was home with us, I still didn't want to tell him, because I knew he would be upset. As much as I wanted to say nothing - I made him a promise before he left. He asked that if anything were to go wrong with anyone, we have to be honest with him and let him know right away. Although I promised him, I knew he still didn't have faith in my promise - as 2 years ago I had let him down after making this same promise. I will never live that lie down.
When Fred found out he had cancer, we didn't tell my sons for about 5 days. They knew something was wrong but we beat all around the bush before we could bring ourselves to tell them this devastating news. When we finally told them they were so upset that we didn't share the news with them immediately. They both felt let down because we didn't have enough faith in them. Do you know, even though we knew our sons were upset, there were still many times that followed that we tried to protect them from his serious conditions and treatments. Even though they were young men, we found it hard to break such sad news to them. We always tried to sugarcoat things to protect their hearts. I know that we have scarred them from thinking we can be honest with them. I swear we couldn't help it while we were doing it.
Anyway this is what made me tell Dom immediately what happened with Freddy. I emailed him the pictures of the car and we talk in length about everything. I text him that I know he is a brave man now - so I hope he believes that from here on in I will always be honest with him. He believed me, thank God. He handled everything well, because he knows Freddy will be fine.
We were hosting the Easter Party for my family so I had to follow thru since we had all the food at our house! We actually got in 1 hour before everyone arrived. We planned that they would just have let themselves in if we weren't home yet, since everything was all ready to go! Although I was so happy my family was with me now, I couldn't help but think what a horrible Easter this was for me. Although I feel blessed Freddy was fine and that everyone in my family was together - I hated that Dominic wasn't with us and that I still was shaken from the horrible call I received that Easter Morn. But all in all - we are a very lucky family.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
TimesThey Are a Changin
Although I am trying to talk myself into thinking my Easter will be good this year - I just can't. There is nothing I can send Dominic in a package that will make him feel as happy as being with his family at Easter. Dominic loves family traditions and cherished the time our family was always able to get together! I know how hard this holiday will be for him, as this was the holiday we always held at our house! Although, one thing he won't miss, is me acting like a crazy lady trying to get everything ready because I am a very last minute type of person!!!! So I will add that to his list of "positives" of him being away!
On a brighter note - let me tell you now that Dominic has his cell phone - it is like heaven for me!!! We get to talk to him just about everyday now! I love when I am going about my own business and he sends a random text just asking how I am doing - or telling me he misses me! I feel so much better knowing what is "somewhat" going on in his life now!
Dominic is doing very well. He told me he has never felt so healthy and refreshed. He runs a few miles every other day, does physical training a few days and then has just started to lift weights. His days are usually very busy with school and paperwork and watches etc., so when he has down time he really appreciates it! He says he knows now all the things that he took for granted! I don't feel he took things for granted - I call it "growing up!"
Well Dom has put in a request to ship out to Italy, Siciliy, or Spain (as his 1st, 2nd, and 3rd choices). This is so surprising to me since about 5 weeks ago - during Boot Camp - the only place he wanted to go was to a base in Delaware! That was all he talked about! But again, that was when he was sooooo homesick! Although we will miss him terrible being so far away, we are glad that he is fulfilling the reason he joined the Navy. He said he wanted to serve his country and also travel while he was young! I am going to try and find all the positives to this scenario - for instance my family going to visit Dom in another country so that he can show us all around! Do you know, I am so proud of my youngest son - well truthfully - of course - both of them!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a brighter note - let me tell you now that Dominic has his cell phone - it is like heaven for me!!! We get to talk to him just about everyday now! I love when I am going about my own business and he sends a random text just asking how I am doing - or telling me he misses me! I feel so much better knowing what is "somewhat" going on in his life now!
Dominic is doing very well. He told me he has never felt so healthy and refreshed. He runs a few miles every other day, does physical training a few days and then has just started to lift weights. His days are usually very busy with school and paperwork and watches etc., so when he has down time he really appreciates it! He says he knows now all the things that he took for granted! I don't feel he took things for granted - I call it "growing up!"
Well Dom has put in a request to ship out to Italy, Siciliy, or Spain (as his 1st, 2nd, and 3rd choices). This is so surprising to me since about 5 weeks ago - during Boot Camp - the only place he wanted to go was to a base in Delaware! That was all he talked about! But again, that was when he was sooooo homesick! Although we will miss him terrible being so far away, we are glad that he is fulfilling the reason he joined the Navy. He said he wanted to serve his country and also travel while he was young! I am going to try and find all the positives to this scenario - for instance my family going to visit Dom in another country so that he can show us all around! Do you know, I am so proud of my youngest son - well truthfully - of course - both of them!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Angels Singing in my Ear!
Today, I received a text message from Dominic at 12:50 pm - my first text message from him in 64 days - and the text message alert was like angels singing in my ear!!! My heart actually leaped when I saw it was a message from Dom! Needless to say, he received his care package today with his cell phone, ipod and easter goodies. The message was short and sweet. He thanked us for getting him his things so quickly, thanked us for all the cards and goodies, and then told me he loves me so much and that he will call me later. I LOVE CELL PHONES! Seriously, without cell phones we would hardly ever get to talk with Dom as he said there are only a few payphones and there always long lines of sailors waiting to use them! We just got done talking to him, and the same as earlier, when I heard his "Lynard Skynard" ring (I have different rings for specific people) my heart again leaped! I know I am going to be so much more at peace knowing we can talk/text with Dom, whenever we want!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Settled In for 3 More Months
Dom arrived safe and sound in Mississippi on Tuesday evening. When he called he seemed as if he were going to enjoy his stay at the base - well all things considered! He is living in a quad with 8 other guys (3 bedroom with 3 sailors per room). It sounds nice - I am imagining like the small apartments at college. He said they have nice flat screens in their rooms with a great Comcast package!!! This is right up his alley! He also likes that right on the base there is a bowling alley, movie theatre, game room, a few good restaurants and even A BAR! Although he says that it is a serious issue if you have any alcohol before your are 21! So serious that he honestly told us that he will not touch 1 thing until he turns the big 2 - 1! Damn, I'm impressed! I have been telling him not to touch alcohol since he got caught drinking in my very own basement - and he didn't listen to a word!!!! Another reason I should have been running a little Navy Boot camp from my home! He did say that even when you do get Liberty, the closest town is 25 miles and there isn't much to do at all once you get there! Guess it will keep him out of any trouble!!!!!!!!!!!
We sent Dominic his Ipod, Cell phone, camera, and packed a nice box of Easter Goodies! We also put in some stationary and stamps - even though I think he will basically converse by cell phone now! I am going to miss him so much at Eastertime. We usually have the big Easter Party for the Denicolo's at our house! It normally is a very good time - everyone gathering and enjoying each others company and of course EATING! Dominic always loved any gatherings with the family! I didn't even want to do it at our house this year - because I hate Dominic not being here! But young Freddy gave me much needed words of wisdom. When I told him why I didn't want to have the Easter Celebration - he told me that knowing Dominic loved the gathering so much - is the exact reason we should be having it. He told me Dominic would probably be so disappointed if it wasn't at our house - as Dom is a big believer and lover of tradition! So needless to say we are having the Easter Party at our House.
Although I know this is whole Navy thing is best for Dominic and although he even seems to be accepting all his new changes with anticipation, I can't help but think that each night he lays his head down to go to sleep he wonders - "What the hell did I do this for?" I hope I am wrong!
We sent Dominic his Ipod, Cell phone, camera, and packed a nice box of Easter Goodies! We also put in some stationary and stamps - even though I think he will basically converse by cell phone now! I am going to miss him so much at Eastertime. We usually have the big Easter Party for the Denicolo's at our house! It normally is a very good time - everyone gathering and enjoying each others company and of course EATING! Dominic always loved any gatherings with the family! I didn't even want to do it at our house this year - because I hate Dominic not being here! But young Freddy gave me much needed words of wisdom. When I told him why I didn't want to have the Easter Celebration - he told me that knowing Dominic loved the gathering so much - is the exact reason we should be having it. He told me Dominic would probably be so disappointed if it wasn't at our house - as Dom is a big believer and lover of tradition! So needless to say we are having the Easter Party at our House.
Although I know this is whole Navy thing is best for Dominic and although he even seems to be accepting all his new changes with anticipation, I can't help but think that each night he lays his head down to go to sleep he wonders - "What the hell did I do this for?" I hope I am wrong!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Heading Out!
Dominic called today from Chicago airport! He was waiting to board a plane heading towards Meridian, Mississippi for three months! He will be going to "A" school out there to prepare for Logistics Specialist. We are not sure where he will be stationed from there - although he will have a 15 day leave once he is finished with school!!! Just in time for the seashore!!! Yippee!!
Although I will miss Dominic dearly while he is in Mississippi, seeing how wonderful and happy he was - when we saw him last - makes me feel so much better than I had been feeling. I have never seen him so content and as attentive to details, organization and rules, as he had been during his graduation liberty! In eight short weeks the Navy Bootcamp was able to help Dom see the importance of responsibility, patience, determination, academics, organization - things that I tried to show him day in and day out for the last 20 years!!!! Damn, should have run a little bootcamp from home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know already that I am going to miss Dominic, more than words can say! But now,I also know that he is doing great for himself and that the next four years is going to be a positive life learning experience for him! And that is all a Mother really ever wants for her child - no matter how young or old he/she is!!!! I am saying this now, it has only been 2 days since I saw Dominic last! Can't say that I will be feeling the same way next time I check in!!!
Although I will miss Dominic dearly while he is in Mississippi, seeing how wonderful and happy he was - when we saw him last - makes me feel so much better than I had been feeling. I have never seen him so content and as attentive to details, organization and rules, as he had been during his graduation liberty! In eight short weeks the Navy Bootcamp was able to help Dom see the importance of responsibility, patience, determination, academics, organization - things that I tried to show him day in and day out for the last 20 years!!!! Damn, should have run a little bootcamp from home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know already that I am going to miss Dominic, more than words can say! But now,I also know that he is doing great for himself and that the next four years is going to be a positive life learning experience for him! And that is all a Mother really ever wants for her child - no matter how young or old he/she is!!!! I am saying this now, it has only been 2 days since I saw Dominic last! Can't say that I will be feeling the same way next time I check in!!!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Goodbye My Sailor!
Well we picked Dominic up bright and early from the base on Sunday morning for breakfast. As the previous few days, we had a wonderful time just spending time together. We went back to our place for an hour before we had to leave for the airport. Wishing so bad that we didn't have to leave. I knew I was going to feel this way. Even though the past three days felt like heaven, I still wanted more!
Here we are, back at the dreaded Naval Base. We all gave our hugs and kisses and of course I had to hold on just a bit longer. I cried, a truly heartbreaking cry, as I held onto my brave, courageous son. Dominic looked so handsome as he walked away straight and tall and proud to join his sailor buddies for there last few hours of liberty - for this week! We had all waited for eight weeks for this time and it came and went - but with very wonderful memories that we will all cherish for a very long time. Goodbye my Dominic - for now!
Here we are, back at the dreaded Naval Base. We all gave our hugs and kisses and of course I had to hold on just a bit longer. I cried, a truly heartbreaking cry, as I held onto my brave, courageous son. Dominic looked so handsome as he walked away straight and tall and proud to join his sailor buddies for there last few hours of liberty - for this week! We had all waited for eight weeks for this time and it came and went - but with very wonderful memories that we will all cherish for a very long time. Goodbye my Dominic - for now!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
ANOTHER AWESOME DAY
Well we just got back from dropping Dominic off at the Naval Base. After graduation the sailors were permitted to go out on Liberty until 8:00 p.m. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We will be picking him up for his last day of liberty tomorrow morning at 7:30 - and I am already looking forward to it!
We had such a wonderful day yesterday (graduation). Other than going out to dinner, we just hung out at the hotel and just sat and talked and laughed the entire time. Luckilly we had a nice big suite so we had a nice living room to relax and nice kitchen to make snacks, so it was just like sitting at home! Dominic had so many funny, funny stories and he kept us laughing and engaged the whole day! We hated to drop him back off - but we of course did as expected!!!!
Dominic has changed so much in the last eight weeks - it is crazy!!! Beside him being so trim and slim, he was so much more relaxed and didn't let anything stress him or bother him! He laughed and smiled the entire time - no exagerration! He was so neat about his appearance and made sure that every detail was intact with his uniform. Whenever he did anything - he related it to an article that they had to study - knowing whether what he was or wasn't doing is permitted. Some of the "rules" are so crazy - again he had us amused when he was reciting some of them! His attention to detail and naval instructions were impeccable.
We picked him up at 7:30 this morning and we enjoyed breakfast at the hotel. We were suppossed to go into center city Chicago to sight see - but when we awoke we found ourselves with 5 inches of snow and a very blustery day! So we gave Dominic a few choices to deciede what he would like to do! He said "honestly, all he really wanted to do was hang out with us (again) in our suite and talk and laugh and rent movies and of course, EAT!" We did just that - although we did go out for a wonderful lunch! Again, we had so much fun just enjoying each others company!
Out of all the vacations we ever took, by far, this was the ultimate. I have a great wonderful family and I will thank God each and every day for this last two days he has given us together! Like I said I am already counting the hours until we get to pick him up for the final day until we have to part tomorrow! I do not want to think of that right now, so I am going to sign off! Goodnight!
We had such a wonderful day yesterday (graduation). Other than going out to dinner, we just hung out at the hotel and just sat and talked and laughed the entire time. Luckilly we had a nice big suite so we had a nice living room to relax and nice kitchen to make snacks, so it was just like sitting at home! Dominic had so many funny, funny stories and he kept us laughing and engaged the whole day! We hated to drop him back off - but we of course did as expected!!!!
Dominic has changed so much in the last eight weeks - it is crazy!!! Beside him being so trim and slim, he was so much more relaxed and didn't let anything stress him or bother him! He laughed and smiled the entire time - no exagerration! He was so neat about his appearance and made sure that every detail was intact with his uniform. Whenever he did anything - he related it to an article that they had to study - knowing whether what he was or wasn't doing is permitted. Some of the "rules" are so crazy - again he had us amused when he was reciting some of them! His attention to detail and naval instructions were impeccable.
We picked him up at 7:30 this morning and we enjoyed breakfast at the hotel. We were suppossed to go into center city Chicago to sight see - but when we awoke we found ourselves with 5 inches of snow and a very blustery day! So we gave Dominic a few choices to deciede what he would like to do! He said "honestly, all he really wanted to do was hang out with us (again) in our suite and talk and laugh and rent movies and of course, EAT!" We did just that - although we did go out for a wonderful lunch! Again, we had so much fun just enjoying each others company!
Out of all the vacations we ever took, by far, this was the ultimate. I have a great wonderful family and I will thank God each and every day for this last two days he has given us together! Like I said I am already counting the hours until we get to pick him up for the final day until we have to part tomorrow! I do not want to think of that right now, so I am going to sign off! Goodnight!
Friday, March 19, 2010
GRADUATION DAY!!!!
We arrived in Chicago yesterday around 4 pm - after a very short flight with no problems at all! This was was surprising to me after all the nightmares I have been hearing about, due to air travel! Fred, Freddy and I checked into our suite and headed out to a nice dinner. We were laughing and sharing funny stories about Dominic. We could not believe that the long awaited day was finally here and we were so close to Dominic but we were still not able to see him until graduation day in the morning. I begged the guys to take me on a "drive-by" of the Naval Base actually hoping that I might be able to see Dom on the grounds. That was a joke as when we got there we weren't allowed anywhere near where the recruits (now sailors) were living for the last eight weeks.
When we awoke in the morning we rushed out bright and early to be one of the first in line at 6:30 a.m. Again, another joke, as when we arrived there was at least 50 cars already in line waiting to be among "the first" to arrive!! I had to laugh as this was the first time I thought about all the other Sailors mothers and families who were going through the same ordeal as myself!! And to think I thought I had the market cornered on this event!! After waiting in the car line we were then directed to go and wait in another line in which Identifications were checked. As we were waiting in the long line - I had just commented to the guys that yesterday was one of the first times traveling on a plane that I hadn't been randomly chosen to be checked at security. Seriously I seem to always be one of the lucky few who they do random searches! Literally, 8 minutes later an armed sailor came up to me - among hundreds of other families - and asked me to step through the metal detector and to empty out my pocketbook! I swear at first I thought I was being "PUNKED" and then when the armed men didn't crack a smile I realized they were serious. Fred and Freddy and many people around us began laughing as it was such a random act!!!! Just one of the many things that happen in Rennie's World - as Marie would say!
Well we were finally seated and waiting for our Dear Dominic to march in standing proud in his dress blues! The Naval Band began and the large doors opened and the sailors came marching in! I immediatly began to cry tears of happiness and pride!!! The ceremony was beautiful. Dominic and all the other sailors stood so straight and tall. You were able to feel the pride and confidence that these sailors were feeling. As Dominic looked straight ahead - as the soldiers were directed - I did see him a few times try to find us amidst all the families gathered. Luckilly we were in the bleachers straight in front of his division! And, I could swear, that our eyes met when he saw us, and I mouthed - I Love You - and I feel he could read my lips! Although young Freddy said I was just crazy!
After the ceremony was ended we had to go down onto the floor and find our sailors. I held it together until this point. There were so many sailors and families that I just couldn't find him and then I just started crying and hollering his name - until from the side I heard "MOM, ITS ALRIGHT HERE I AM!" I will never forget this moment! Dominic was smiling ear to ear with a look I had never ever seen on his handsome face! I held him tighter then I had ever held him! It was a day I will never forget! A day that I know I will rehash in my mind over and over!
We went out to breakfast and are now at the hotel - chilling and relaxing! Dominic's stories are already keeping us amused! He looks so different to us - we all seem to just keep staring at him!!!! Well gonna go spend time with my MEN!!!!I think today was one of the happiest days of my life! Our family all together again!
Thank You God for giving me this day!
When we awoke in the morning we rushed out bright and early to be one of the first in line at 6:30 a.m. Again, another joke, as when we arrived there was at least 50 cars already in line waiting to be among "the first" to arrive!! I had to laugh as this was the first time I thought about all the other Sailors mothers and families who were going through the same ordeal as myself!! And to think I thought I had the market cornered on this event!! After waiting in the car line we were then directed to go and wait in another line in which Identifications were checked. As we were waiting in the long line - I had just commented to the guys that yesterday was one of the first times traveling on a plane that I hadn't been randomly chosen to be checked at security. Seriously I seem to always be one of the lucky few who they do random searches! Literally, 8 minutes later an armed sailor came up to me - among hundreds of other families - and asked me to step through the metal detector and to empty out my pocketbook! I swear at first I thought I was being "PUNKED" and then when the armed men didn't crack a smile I realized they were serious. Fred and Freddy and many people around us began laughing as it was such a random act!!!! Just one of the many things that happen in Rennie's World - as Marie would say!
Well we were finally seated and waiting for our Dear Dominic to march in standing proud in his dress blues! The Naval Band began and the large doors opened and the sailors came marching in! I immediatly began to cry tears of happiness and pride!!! The ceremony was beautiful. Dominic and all the other sailors stood so straight and tall. You were able to feel the pride and confidence that these sailors were feeling. As Dominic looked straight ahead - as the soldiers were directed - I did see him a few times try to find us amidst all the families gathered. Luckilly we were in the bleachers straight in front of his division! And, I could swear, that our eyes met when he saw us, and I mouthed - I Love You - and I feel he could read my lips! Although young Freddy said I was just crazy!
After the ceremony was ended we had to go down onto the floor and find our sailors. I held it together until this point. There were so many sailors and families that I just couldn't find him and then I just started crying and hollering his name - until from the side I heard "MOM, ITS ALRIGHT HERE I AM!" I will never forget this moment! Dominic was smiling ear to ear with a look I had never ever seen on his handsome face! I held him tighter then I had ever held him! It was a day I will never forget! A day that I know I will rehash in my mind over and over!
We went out to breakfast and are now at the hotel - chilling and relaxing! Dominic's stories are already keeping us amused! He looks so different to us - we all seem to just keep staring at him!!!! Well gonna go spend time with my MEN!!!!I think today was one of the happiest days of my life! Our family all together again!
Thank You God for giving me this day!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
An official US SAILOR
Dominic called today at 1:51 pm to let me know that he is now offically a U.S. SAILOR! He made it through all of his tests and today just completed the last phase - Battle Stations! He passed everything with flying colors and he said that he has never been so relieved of anything in his life! He sounded happy and proud, but mostly he sounded very very tired. Words will never be able to express the love and pride I hold in my heart at this moment!
My family and I will be leaving for Great Lakes in the morn! I have never been more anxious or nervous about taking a trip! I love my family! And tomorrow we will be together again!!!!!!!!!!
Talk to you upon my return!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My family and I will be leaving for Great Lakes in the morn! I have never been more anxious or nervous about taking a trip! I love my family! And tomorrow we will be together again!!!!!!!!!!
Talk to you upon my return!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Waiting Patiently - Trying Not to Think
My friend Huggy, who was enlisted in the Navy for over 20 years, sent me the most interesting information concerning Dominic's final phase of Boot Camp - BATTLE STATIONS! This a 24 hour make-or-break experience that serves as the culmination of his last eight weeks. After reading the article it seems as if the recruits are put into created "war zones" to replicate a terrorist attack on a ship. All this is done, as close as you can get, on the new $82.5 million Simulator Battle Stations 21 trainer onboard the Trayer, a new "ship" recently put into service at the Navy's boot camp in Great Lakes, Ill.
It is said that this is quite alot for the recruits to endure, but it helps them to be all that more prepared when going into battle! It is believed that "Only the Strong Survive!" After the recruits pass this last phase, they then trade in their ball caps they wore all during camp, with the word "RECRUIT" for ones that say "NAVY." The men and women are now true United States Sailors! This is known as the capping ceremony. This is a very emotional time for the sailors as it is now the end of one of the most trying and difficult times in their lives - Navy Bootcamp!
Although I have been more than proud of Dominic through this whole "bootcamp" ordeal, after reading the information about the Simulator Ship - I now know how brave, loyal, and tough my son Dominic really is! I am a nervous wreck thinking about any of it, so I am trying not to think tonight as I lay down to go to sleep! I read somewhere that Dominic will be able to call us as soon as he completes these Battle Stations, to share his great news with us! So of course, that is all I can think of right now!!! Waiting patiently!!! Trying not to think!!! Waiting patiently!!! Trying Not to think!!!!
It is said that this is quite alot for the recruits to endure, but it helps them to be all that more prepared when going into battle! It is believed that "Only the Strong Survive!" After the recruits pass this last phase, they then trade in their ball caps they wore all during camp, with the word "RECRUIT" for ones that say "NAVY." The men and women are now true United States Sailors! This is known as the capping ceremony. This is a very emotional time for the sailors as it is now the end of one of the most trying and difficult times in their lives - Navy Bootcamp!
Although I have been more than proud of Dominic through this whole "bootcamp" ordeal, after reading the information about the Simulator Ship - I now know how brave, loyal, and tough my son Dominic really is! I am a nervous wreck thinking about any of it, so I am trying not to think tonight as I lay down to go to sleep! I read somewhere that Dominic will be able to call us as soon as he completes these Battle Stations, to share his great news with us! So of course, that is all I can think of right now!!! Waiting patiently!!! Trying not to think!!! Waiting patiently!!! Trying Not to think!!!!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Admiration - Pride - Love
Well the days are winding down and I cannot believe in one week my family and I will be with Dom at his graduation!!!! I don't think I have ever looked so forward to anything in my entire life! This is the truth!!!! It has been 46 days and my heart is still aching from being so sad and lonely without him, just as if he left yesterday! But I do have to admit as Dominic's letters began to sound as if he were making out better and better each time he wrote - a part of me began to feel better and better knowing he will be alright!!! I am filled with such admiration, pride, and love for my young, brave, son!
I received a letter from Dominic today and it was addressed to my Kindergartners and I want to share it with you! I cried the entire time I read it, as it shows how gentle and caring Dominic is towards others! My kinder children pray for him everyday and always come up and ask questions about him, draw him pictures, and sing songs about him! I let them know each time he writes and I tell them what he has been doing in Navy Boot Camp! My kindergartners have honestly helped to make my last 46 days without Dominic, a bit easier for me! They are precious. I always shared stories with Dominic, Freddy, and Fred, about the children, so they usually always know what's going on in my class!!! Please read the letter Dom wrote to the kiddies!
Dear Saint William Kindergarten,
HELLO, it's Sailor Dom! Thank you so much for all the art work, I loved all of them! I even showed them to the Chief and she loved them too!
I am excited to get on a ship and sail the seas and visit alot of different countries. Do you know there are alot of different people who are sailors? There are sailors that come from different countries, states, and cities, but we are all United States Sailors. There are sailors of all colors and religions, and we are all brothers and sisters and friends, just like in Philadelphia and especially St. Williams!
I am having fun and I can't wait to see my mom, your Mrs. Baker! I hope you are all behaving for Mrs. Baker, as I already gave her enough misbehavior! Congratulations on your 100th Day Celebration and enjoy the rest of your school year. Have fun and take care of one another!
Love, Dominic
"GO NAVY"
I received a letter from Dominic today and it was addressed to my Kindergartners and I want to share it with you! I cried the entire time I read it, as it shows how gentle and caring Dominic is towards others! My kinder children pray for him everyday and always come up and ask questions about him, draw him pictures, and sing songs about him! I let them know each time he writes and I tell them what he has been doing in Navy Boot Camp! My kindergartners have honestly helped to make my last 46 days without Dominic, a bit easier for me! They are precious. I always shared stories with Dominic, Freddy, and Fred, about the children, so they usually always know what's going on in my class!!! Please read the letter Dom wrote to the kiddies!
Dear Saint William Kindergarten,
HELLO, it's Sailor Dom! Thank you so much for all the art work, I loved all of them! I even showed them to the Chief and she loved them too!
I am excited to get on a ship and sail the seas and visit alot of different countries. Do you know there are alot of different people who are sailors? There are sailors that come from different countries, states, and cities, but we are all United States Sailors. There are sailors of all colors and religions, and we are all brothers and sisters and friends, just like in Philadelphia and especially St. Williams!
I am having fun and I can't wait to see my mom, your Mrs. Baker! I hope you are all behaving for Mrs. Baker, as I already gave her enough misbehavior! Congratulations on your 100th Day Celebration and enjoy the rest of your school year. Have fun and take care of one another!
Love, Dominic
"GO NAVY"
Friday, March 5, 2010
A Bright Spot
Out of the clear blue sky, as I was watching television, the phone rang at 4:10 p.m. and it was Dominic! When I heard his voice for the second time in 41 days, my heart dropped! He sounds fantastic, seriously sounds more mature - if that's possible in 41 days.
Dominic said that he is doing so well now! Says that he still, of course, misses home, but he is very well adjusted to boot camp! From here on in, other than the remainder of the tests, things should be smooth sailing now until graduation! He says they do a lot of marching and drills and he enjoys this! He described his flag that his platoon made and he ordered all of our family t-shirts with the emblem on them. I never heard him so excited explaining everything in detail. He is looking so forward to graduation and spending time with the family. He was able to call Fred, Little Freddy and Keirstan - and reached everyone!!!!
He will be shipping right out after graduation to Mississippi on March 23rd, for "A" School. He will be there for eight weeks and then have a 15 day leave!!!!! Just in time for the shore!!!! I am ecstatic! He did say we can also go see him in Mississippi and stay at a hotel near the base. I am hoping to go out over Easter vacation - but I haven't even spoken to Fred yet - so we will see! HAPPINESS
Dominic said that he is doing so well now! Says that he still, of course, misses home, but he is very well adjusted to boot camp! From here on in, other than the remainder of the tests, things should be smooth sailing now until graduation! He says they do a lot of marching and drills and he enjoys this! He described his flag that his platoon made and he ordered all of our family t-shirts with the emblem on them. I never heard him so excited explaining everything in detail. He is looking so forward to graduation and spending time with the family. He was able to call Fred, Little Freddy and Keirstan - and reached everyone!!!!
He will be shipping right out after graduation to Mississippi on March 23rd, for "A" School. He will be there for eight weeks and then have a 15 day leave!!!!! Just in time for the shore!!!! I am ecstatic! He did say we can also go see him in Mississippi and stay at a hotel near the base. I am hoping to go out over Easter vacation - but I haven't even spoken to Fred yet - so we will see! HAPPINESS
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Waiting Patiently
Waiting and waiting - I have been waiting all of yesterday and today, hoping that Dominic will be allowed to call home again! I am assuming if he is able to call, it will be on a weekend as that is when he called last! But you know what - I don't even know for sure! I don't know anything for sure when it comes to my own son these days, other than I miss him more than any words can ever say! I would just feel better if I got to talk to him. I close my eyes often, daydreaming about Graduation Day and actually seeing him for the first time in eight weeks, standing at attention in his Dress Whites. Oh my God, I miss him so bad.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Keep em Coming!!
Letters from bootcamp have been coming in regularly at this point! There is nothing better than coming home from a stressful day at work to a letter written by Dominic! He seems to be doing better and better each day! It seemed as if he had a hard time adjusting to the strict routine schedules and being so homesick in the beginning. But all seems to be working itself out! His letters are very caring and thoughtful and filled with love and, (if you know Dominic) humorous! Many family and friends have also been receiving letters and this makes me happy to know that Dom has so many people that he knows cares and loves him!!!
We are counting the days until we get to see Dominic on March 19th for Graduation! All plans are made and Fred, Freddy, Keirstan and myself will fly out on Thursday afternoon! We are all very excited - as you can imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are counting the days until we get to see Dominic on March 19th for Graduation! All plans are made and Fred, Freddy, Keirstan and myself will fly out on Thursday afternoon! We are all very excited - as you can imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
A New Woman!
My baby called yesterday! I was shopping at Macy's when my phone rang! As I fumbled around to answer it, I noticed the number listed was not a recognizable one, so my stomach dropped and my hands began to shake! And sure enough, I heard "Mom, mom it's me Dominic!" Well I knew we only had a short time to talk and I listened to his stories and I tried to ask so many questions - and it was literally the best phone call I have ever had in my life! He sounded great and he said that he was beginning to settle in and everything was moving along "slowly" but surely! He said Boot Camp isn't too bad other than being so homesick! He told me that after his wisdom teeth were removed they allowed him bed rest for two days - and after that he was fine! He said he actually felt lucky to have the bed rest, so the tooth removal wasn't a bad idea!!!
After we said our goodbye's I went out of Macy's and stood by the railing and cried! And cried and cried some more. Well, I wiped my tears - made a few phone calls to let my family, Marie, and Mary know that Dom called and then I breathed a big sigh of relief! I can honestly say, for the first time in 28 days that I felt good inside my heart! Although this is very hard for me, I do know and realize that joining the Navy was a very wise decision for Dominic! I know that I still have many, many, and many more days that lie ahead of me - missing and wishing Dom was safe and sound at home. But at least now, for a bit, I feel good! Again, that Happy but Sad moment, that's all I can say!
After we said our goodbye's I went out of Macy's and stood by the railing and cried! And cried and cried some more. Well, I wiped my tears - made a few phone calls to let my family, Marie, and Mary know that Dom called and then I breathed a big sigh of relief! I can honestly say, for the first time in 28 days that I felt good inside my heart! Although this is very hard for me, I do know and realize that joining the Navy was a very wise decision for Dominic! I know that I still have many, many, and many more days that lie ahead of me - missing and wishing Dom was safe and sound at home. But at least now, for a bit, I feel good! Again, that Happy but Sad moment, that's all I can say!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Easing Up!
I can honestly say, as I begin to write, that today is the first time in 26 days, that my heart feels somewhat at ease! Thank the Lord! I am sure my friends and family will be glad to hear this, as I must be driving everyone crazy with my whining and crying! Sorry guys!
Yesterday, when I talked to Kearstin she told us that she had heard from Dom, well not Dom, but another sailor who is in bootcamp with Dom! Dom was ordered to bedrest because of the removal of his wisdom teeth, so it seems he must have gotten this guy to call and tell her what was up. I couldn't believe it! I was very happy for her - very sad for me! Fred and I laughed saying that we got thrown under the bus!
Fred said to double check to see if I missed any calls and sure enough - to my surprise - there was a missed message! I am telling you my cell phone has been practically glued to my hand - I do not know how I could have missed a call. The timing of it though, was when I was dismissing my Kinders, so I guess I didn't hear it! Anyway, my message was basically the same as Keirstan's. It was his friend letting us know that he is okay, but ordered to bed rest, so he couldn't call us yesterday. The sailor said Dominic will try to call today! Well, again, Fred and I are getting a big laugh saying if he only gets one call - we know who will get that call! We just want him to call whoever the hell he wants too! As long as we know that he is safe and happy is all we can ask for! And we know that his love for us is unconditional and he knows that we will always be here!!!!!
We received many letters today - each one more beautiful than the next!!! Dominic sounds like he is doing much better than the first time he wrote. Says he is settling in and making many new friends. Now that he is going into his fourth week, Dom says that a lot has eased up for him! He is pretty sure that he is no longer going for any special forces team (SWCC/Rescue Swimmer) like he thought he had originally wanted. He was told that after school for these forces, that many of the bases for these squads are overseas and he does not want to willingly have to go overseas. He said he cannot imagine choosing to be out of our country and so far from home, for his 5 years of duty. We are so happy he has come to a decision, because he was going back and forth with this for quite some time! And best of all he seems very content and happy with his choice!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh - finally a sigh of relief!
Yesterday, when I talked to Kearstin she told us that she had heard from Dom, well not Dom, but another sailor who is in bootcamp with Dom! Dom was ordered to bedrest because of the removal of his wisdom teeth, so it seems he must have gotten this guy to call and tell her what was up. I couldn't believe it! I was very happy for her - very sad for me! Fred and I laughed saying that we got thrown under the bus!
Fred said to double check to see if I missed any calls and sure enough - to my surprise - there was a missed message! I am telling you my cell phone has been practically glued to my hand - I do not know how I could have missed a call. The timing of it though, was when I was dismissing my Kinders, so I guess I didn't hear it! Anyway, my message was basically the same as Keirstan's. It was his friend letting us know that he is okay, but ordered to bed rest, so he couldn't call us yesterday. The sailor said Dominic will try to call today! Well, again, Fred and I are getting a big laugh saying if he only gets one call - we know who will get that call! We just want him to call whoever the hell he wants too! As long as we know that he is safe and happy is all we can ask for! And we know that his love for us is unconditional and he knows that we will always be here!!!!!
We received many letters today - each one more beautiful than the next!!! Dominic sounds like he is doing much better than the first time he wrote. Says he is settling in and making many new friends. Now that he is going into his fourth week, Dom says that a lot has eased up for him! He is pretty sure that he is no longer going for any special forces team (SWCC/Rescue Swimmer) like he thought he had originally wanted. He was told that after school for these forces, that many of the bases for these squads are overseas and he does not want to willingly have to go overseas. He said he cannot imagine choosing to be out of our country and so far from home, for his 5 years of duty. We are so happy he has come to a decision, because he was going back and forth with this for quite some time! And best of all he seems very content and happy with his choice!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh - finally a sigh of relief!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wondering....
I am assuming from Dominic's letter, that he had his Wisdom Teeth removed today. Wondering how everything went. Ironically he was just at the dentist before he left and they didn't see a need for them to come out! Go figure! I do know at this time, if it was anything like when young Freddy's wisdom teeth were removed, that he is in a lot of discomfort and pain. Wish I could be with him now to give him the same TLC I was able to give Freddy, the same TLC he deserves! I can't imagine that Dominic would have to go through the SARS Swimming Test in this condition, which he said "THEY" wouldn't reschedule. Beside the swimming test, I can't imagine him having to get up at 3:30 to do Physical Training after having his four teeth removed. And the only thing I can do is say my prayers and hope that he is holding up! And this time it isn't a Happy but Sad moment for me - it is just Sad.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentine Day
By now I have given up hope that Dom will be calling this weekend, I am really bummed. Now we have to wait an entire week, and HOPE & PRAY for him to be able to call next weekend! So sad - Boo Hoo! I really wanted to hear his voice and wish him a Happy Valentines Day. Disappointment sets in.
Do you know that prior to leaving for Boot Camp, I can count on one hand the few times that we went without talking to Dom for a single day! When he was out at night - he always checked in at least once during the evening. He would never stay out over night without letting us know and putting our hearts at ease. Even when he was away at college, he called or text me or his dad every day! I used to say, "If you can put my worries at ease by a simple phone call, letting us know you are ok - why wouldn't you want to do that?" I always felt lucky that both of our sons always tried to find it in there hearts to do this, otherwise I know I would have had many more gray hairs! Now mind you they both complained about having to do it, but they always did TRY to follow through! Young Fred is probably so glad to be in his own house now so that he doesn't feel obligated to call and check in every day (every other day haha!) anymore!!!Except now I am wondering - if they didn't always call and check in as often as they did, would I have been able to handle not hearing from Dom for the last three weeks? You never know - right! I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.
Happy to say I wound up having a very beautiful Valentine Day afternoon which I REALLY needed!!! Now, Fred's going to play chef and make our family a quiet Valentine Dinner. Even though we are looking forward to spending time all together, it is just not the same without our Dominic. I am just hoping that he finally has received some of our letters and hoping this week gets a bit easier for him and I! God, I miss him so. Once again, Happy but Sad, that's the only way I can explain it.
Do you know that prior to leaving for Boot Camp, I can count on one hand the few times that we went without talking to Dom for a single day! When he was out at night - he always checked in at least once during the evening. He would never stay out over night without letting us know and putting our hearts at ease. Even when he was away at college, he called or text me or his dad every day! I used to say, "If you can put my worries at ease by a simple phone call, letting us know you are ok - why wouldn't you want to do that?" I always felt lucky that both of our sons always tried to find it in there hearts to do this, otherwise I know I would have had many more gray hairs! Now mind you they both complained about having to do it, but they always did TRY to follow through! Young Fred is probably so glad to be in his own house now so that he doesn't feel obligated to call and check in every day (every other day haha!) anymore!!!Except now I am wondering - if they didn't always call and check in as often as they did, would I have been able to handle not hearing from Dom for the last three weeks? You never know - right! I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.
Happy to say I wound up having a very beautiful Valentine Day afternoon which I REALLY needed!!! Now, Fred's going to play chef and make our family a quiet Valentine Dinner. Even though we are looking forward to spending time all together, it is just not the same without our Dominic. I am just hoping that he finally has received some of our letters and hoping this week gets a bit easier for him and I! God, I miss him so. Once again, Happy but Sad, that's the only way I can explain it.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Finally!!
Well, my family and I have been waiting for letters or a phone call from Dominic, since we have heard nothing since the night he arrived in Chicago. And, thank the Lord, our wish came true! Yesterday we received our letters! The letter to my husband and I was absolutely beautiful and of course made me cry the entire time I was reading it! I have read it at least 6 times and I am sure that total will rack up after today! Young Freddy is coming over today for his letter, since Dom mailed it to our house! I am sure this will help to put his heart at ease, just as it did ours!
Sad thing, Dominic found out his wisdom teeth have to come out on Wednesday, and his SARS swimming test is on Thursday, and of course the hard asses won't reschedule!!! He is trying to get on an elite squad which you have to qualify for by passing this SARS swim test (along with many other challenging fetes). He was training somewhat for this before he left! We are praying things work out for him! At the time he left he was actually working toward qualifying for a SWCC Team or Air Rescue Swimmer. Although we really have no idea if he has changed any plans up until now!!! Wondering, wondering, wondering - it never stops.
Of course, without even saying, he totally hates boot camp!!! Says it is the absolute worst thing anyone could imagine - although the foods good!! That's my Dom, always talking about food - hence the nickname "HEAVY D"! (hahahah)!!! He said everything reminds him of home! Things people say, things he see that he thinks we would like, things he see that he thinks we would hate, things people do. He is always wondering what we are doing and wondering where we would be at that time! Says that even when he walks into the mess hall and smells the food or sees a dish that we always prepared at home, it makes him miss us even more! Poor Kid - I mean Poor Man! Just doesn't sound right - does it??
I feel so terrible, because in Dom's letter he stressed that he has not received not one letter from anyone yet, and he NEEDS them more than words can say! We are so upset over this because between Fred, young Fred, and I, we have sent at least 2 dozen letters and cards (for Valentines Day)! Damn, I even sent a Valentine Card from Dez - Freddy's dog! I know Keirstan and my family has sent out letters and cards as well. We took notice that the return address on the envelopes had small changes that we were not given with original address. So we are hoping that the letters will eventually get to him! When I close my eyes it makes me happy to think that he will get all of these dozens of letters at one time- and then it makes me smile. One good thing, he let us know that he realizes something must have been wrong with the original address, that being the reason he is not receiving anything!!! It would just kill me if I thought he was thinking no one was thinking, missing, or writing him when he is so far from home and going through so much!!! But I don't think he would ever feel that way - because our love, is and always was, overly abundant and true!!!
I am having a "hard time" knowing Dom is having such a "hard time" with everything - although everyone says that is normal in boot camp and it will make him a better man. But no matter what anyone tells me, it doesn't ease my heart and it continues to break, each time I think how lonely, tired, scared and exhausted he must be. As parents, we try to protect our children from the harsh realities of this crazy, mixed up world. To do this, I had to restructure (just about) my entire life to show my sons the way. I am not complaining, I loved every minute of it and the changes were well worth it! But now, it seems as if I am expected to be able to watch him go through such challenging times all on his own, without being able to give him my advice, my love, help him when he is ill, give him a hug or kiss when he is having such trying times. The list could go on forever... and forever is how it long it feels my heart will be hurting.
Well, now we will await "THE PHONE CALL" - I am keeping my fingers crossed! He is only permitted 3 phone calls in 8 weeks - at least that's what the Navy Instruction Book says!!! That books has become a bit like the Bible to me!! Again, I breathe a sigh of relief, we got through another lonely day - Happy but Sad, that's the only way I can explain it! I miss my baby son.
Sad thing, Dominic found out his wisdom teeth have to come out on Wednesday, and his SARS swimming test is on Thursday, and of course the hard asses won't reschedule!!! He is trying to get on an elite squad which you have to qualify for by passing this SARS swim test (along with many other challenging fetes). He was training somewhat for this before he left! We are praying things work out for him! At the time he left he was actually working toward qualifying for a SWCC Team or Air Rescue Swimmer. Although we really have no idea if he has changed any plans up until now!!! Wondering, wondering, wondering - it never stops.
Of course, without even saying, he totally hates boot camp!!! Says it is the absolute worst thing anyone could imagine - although the foods good!! That's my Dom, always talking about food - hence the nickname "HEAVY D"! (hahahah)!!! He said everything reminds him of home! Things people say, things he see that he thinks we would like, things he see that he thinks we would hate, things people do. He is always wondering what we are doing and wondering where we would be at that time! Says that even when he walks into the mess hall and smells the food or sees a dish that we always prepared at home, it makes him miss us even more! Poor Kid - I mean Poor Man! Just doesn't sound right - does it??
I feel so terrible, because in Dom's letter he stressed that he has not received not one letter from anyone yet, and he NEEDS them more than words can say! We are so upset over this because between Fred, young Fred, and I, we have sent at least 2 dozen letters and cards (for Valentines Day)! Damn, I even sent a Valentine Card from Dez - Freddy's dog! I know Keirstan and my family has sent out letters and cards as well. We took notice that the return address on the envelopes had small changes that we were not given with original address. So we are hoping that the letters will eventually get to him! When I close my eyes it makes me happy to think that he will get all of these dozens of letters at one time- and then it makes me smile. One good thing, he let us know that he realizes something must have been wrong with the original address, that being the reason he is not receiving anything!!! It would just kill me if I thought he was thinking no one was thinking, missing, or writing him when he is so far from home and going through so much!!! But I don't think he would ever feel that way - because our love, is and always was, overly abundant and true!!!
I am having a "hard time" knowing Dom is having such a "hard time" with everything - although everyone says that is normal in boot camp and it will make him a better man. But no matter what anyone tells me, it doesn't ease my heart and it continues to break, each time I think how lonely, tired, scared and exhausted he must be. As parents, we try to protect our children from the harsh realities of this crazy, mixed up world. To do this, I had to restructure (just about) my entire life to show my sons the way. I am not complaining, I loved every minute of it and the changes were well worth it! But now, it seems as if I am expected to be able to watch him go through such challenging times all on his own, without being able to give him my advice, my love, help him when he is ill, give him a hug or kiss when he is having such trying times. The list could go on forever... and forever is how it long it feels my heart will be hurting.
Well, now we will await "THE PHONE CALL" - I am keeping my fingers crossed! He is only permitted 3 phone calls in 8 weeks - at least that's what the Navy Instruction Book says!!! That books has become a bit like the Bible to me!! Again, I breathe a sigh of relief, we got through another lonely day - Happy but Sad, that's the only way I can explain it! I miss my baby son.
Friday, February 12, 2010
As Days Go Slowly By...
When we got home, the day we dropped Dom off at the recruiters, I laid on the couch and I can honestly say I never stopped crying for the entire day and night. I remember I slept on the couch that evening because I was used to waiting up for Dom to come in and it just felt right. When my husband woke me in the morn, as he was leaving for work, he told me I had to try and pull it together, blah, blah, blah. I just rolled over and cried some more.
Eventually I got up and ate (I eat under pressure), watched a little TV ( I watch TV under pressure), cried some more (I cry under pressure), then went back to sleep curled up on the couch (I sleep under pressure). I WAS A HORRIBLE MESS! And then I repeated that scenario three times throughout that day. I remember I only took one call that morning from a very close friend, who knows how emotional I can be, thinking it might help - it didn't, nothing did! Until about about 4 o'clock when the phone rang once again - and unexpectedly it was Dominic calling from the Philadelphia Airport! My heart seriously stopped when I heard his voice. I was speechless for a brief second.
Dom explained that they had gone to Fort Dix in Jersey the day before and spent the night at a hotel and now he was leaving for Chicago. He was in the Airport and excused himself to use the bathroom and found a payphone (which he said is next to impossible) and called me. My God, the feeling of relief was abundantly clear as I began laughing and rattling as he was telling me his escapade to find a phone! He told me about his evening and that he already had met a lot of really great people. It took me back to his first school day at St. Albert the Great. We had moved into the neighborhood when Dom was in second grade and he knew no-one, so we were worried about his settling into a new school. The first day he came home from school, as I close my eyes, I can still see his soft blond hair and his shining face telling me he met a new best friend already on the bus! The same way that he put my heart at ease 14 years earlier, is how he put my heart at ease now! He had to talk quickly so he could give his dad, young Freddy, and Keirstan a call before he had to get back with his group.
Keirstan, we found out the night before his departure, was going to be traveling with us to Chicago, for graduation. We had met Keirstan for the first time in the summer, and immediately liked her!!! Well Dom and her had eventually decided they weren't going to see each other anymore because they were afraid they were getting too serious - which neither of them wanted because they knew he was leaving for four years. They saw each other on and off after this and each time they did see each other - he brought her around for a visit! We could tell their was something different this time - we didn't know what - but it was a feeling that my husband and I liked (although we are both hopeless romantics when it comes to Freddy and Dom)! Anyway, the night before he left for Boot Camp, they both decided that while he is away they want to keep in contact with each other as much as possible and try to see each other as much as they are able. And I guess the bottom line is, if it was meant to be - it will be! Hence, our family welcoming Keirstan with open arms to travel to graduation with us in March.
Well to get back to my story, after he called me from the airport that Tuesday afternoon, I immediately felt better! I stopped crying as much, stopped watching TV as much, stopped sleeping as much, and luckily stopped eating as much - and got myself together and carried on with my day! He called us again that evening, which was a scheduled call from the Navy, to let us know he had arrived in Chicago safely and we would not here from him now for 2 1/2 to 3 weeks. So there you have my first night and day without my brave and courageous son!
As you may have noticed I did not put any post in this blog, since that day, since I could not find it in my heart to sit and write about it. Needless to say I carried on my everyday life, but cried way too much, ate way too much, watched TV way to much and slept way to much - trying to make it through without knowing anything that was going on with Dominic. A large package arrived after he was gone the 5th day and it was known as "Soldier in a Box" (horrible name)! It came via UPS and it was a large box with all Dominics' belongings he had on the day that he left! We were told this was to represent that he left us a KID but will return to us as a MAN! I lost it, needless to say! I want my KID - I miss my KID - I love my KID!
Well, like all mothers of servicemen, I have good nights and bad nights. Do you know that I seriously, (this is absolutely no lie), wake up between 3:00 a.m. and 3:30 a.m. each and every morning instinctively, as this is the time Dominic is waking up for revelry. You know I read that in his Navy Instruction Book, along with all the other regulations, as well as the Navy alphabet code which I can rehearse easily - which is scary, I know! I can also tell you time by the Navy clock as it is now 0 9 hundred hours, I think, as I am still trying to master this ridiculous technique! I know Dom was probably saying the same thing when he was studying this! Well, today marks the 2 1/2 week mark when we should be receiving his call and we are waiting anxiously. My heart has been pounding and each time the phone rings my hands shake as I run to answer it! It sucks because the call can come at absolutely anytime and we have no way of knowing!! I am so over anxious. It reminds me of how I felt when I was waiting to receive the call from Dr. Stack to let me know if I was "with child"! Needless to say - I was - twice!!!!
Without a doubt, my husband is a Saint just to put up with me! And my oldest son, Freddy, has been the one keeping me going! I know by now, I am driving him crazy! I know it is a lot of pressure to put on him, but I can't help it! I call him way too much - and luckily he always picks up! I ask him to come over way too much - and luckily he always comes! And I ask him way too many ridiculous questions and luckily he still answers me. On several occasions when he came to visit, I even asked him if he wanted to sleep over and that he can sleep in Doms room! He said - "No Mother, I have my own apartment - remember?" Although -God bless his soul- I must have wore him down because one night he finally said "OK Mom, I will stay!" I rested a bit easier that night!!!! I also know that he is going through a difficult time without his brother, as they are very close and always did a lot of things together. If it weren't for my precious son Freddy, I would have lost it 2 1/2 weeks ago! He is a great son! You know I have two really great sons - I am a lucky woman! Realizing and appreciating that I am such a lucky mom, right now I feel Happy but Sad - that's the only way I can explain it!
Eventually I got up and ate (I eat under pressure), watched a little TV ( I watch TV under pressure), cried some more (I cry under pressure), then went back to sleep curled up on the couch (I sleep under pressure). I WAS A HORRIBLE MESS! And then I repeated that scenario three times throughout that day. I remember I only took one call that morning from a very close friend, who knows how emotional I can be, thinking it might help - it didn't, nothing did! Until about about 4 o'clock when the phone rang once again - and unexpectedly it was Dominic calling from the Philadelphia Airport! My heart seriously stopped when I heard his voice. I was speechless for a brief second.
Dom explained that they had gone to Fort Dix in Jersey the day before and spent the night at a hotel and now he was leaving for Chicago. He was in the Airport and excused himself to use the bathroom and found a payphone (which he said is next to impossible) and called me. My God, the feeling of relief was abundantly clear as I began laughing and rattling as he was telling me his escapade to find a phone! He told me about his evening and that he already had met a lot of really great people. It took me back to his first school day at St. Albert the Great. We had moved into the neighborhood when Dom was in second grade and he knew no-one, so we were worried about his settling into a new school. The first day he came home from school, as I close my eyes, I can still see his soft blond hair and his shining face telling me he met a new best friend already on the bus! The same way that he put my heart at ease 14 years earlier, is how he put my heart at ease now! He had to talk quickly so he could give his dad, young Freddy, and Keirstan a call before he had to get back with his group.
Keirstan, we found out the night before his departure, was going to be traveling with us to Chicago, for graduation. We had met Keirstan for the first time in the summer, and immediately liked her!!! Well Dom and her had eventually decided they weren't going to see each other anymore because they were afraid they were getting too serious - which neither of them wanted because they knew he was leaving for four years. They saw each other on and off after this and each time they did see each other - he brought her around for a visit! We could tell their was something different this time - we didn't know what - but it was a feeling that my husband and I liked (although we are both hopeless romantics when it comes to Freddy and Dom)! Anyway, the night before he left for Boot Camp, they both decided that while he is away they want to keep in contact with each other as much as possible and try to see each other as much as they are able. And I guess the bottom line is, if it was meant to be - it will be! Hence, our family welcoming Keirstan with open arms to travel to graduation with us in March.
Well to get back to my story, after he called me from the airport that Tuesday afternoon, I immediately felt better! I stopped crying as much, stopped watching TV as much, stopped sleeping as much, and luckily stopped eating as much - and got myself together and carried on with my day! He called us again that evening, which was a scheduled call from the Navy, to let us know he had arrived in Chicago safely and we would not here from him now for 2 1/2 to 3 weeks. So there you have my first night and day without my brave and courageous son!
As you may have noticed I did not put any post in this blog, since that day, since I could not find it in my heart to sit and write about it. Needless to say I carried on my everyday life, but cried way too much, ate way too much, watched TV way to much and slept way to much - trying to make it through without knowing anything that was going on with Dominic. A large package arrived after he was gone the 5th day and it was known as "Soldier in a Box" (horrible name)! It came via UPS and it was a large box with all Dominics' belongings he had on the day that he left! We were told this was to represent that he left us a KID but will return to us as a MAN! I lost it, needless to say! I want my KID - I miss my KID - I love my KID!
Well, like all mothers of servicemen, I have good nights and bad nights. Do you know that I seriously, (this is absolutely no lie), wake up between 3:00 a.m. and 3:30 a.m. each and every morning instinctively, as this is the time Dominic is waking up for revelry. You know I read that in his Navy Instruction Book, along with all the other regulations, as well as the Navy alphabet code which I can rehearse easily - which is scary, I know! I can also tell you time by the Navy clock as it is now 0 9 hundred hours, I think, as I am still trying to master this ridiculous technique! I know Dom was probably saying the same thing when he was studying this! Well, today marks the 2 1/2 week mark when we should be receiving his call and we are waiting anxiously. My heart has been pounding and each time the phone rings my hands shake as I run to answer it! It sucks because the call can come at absolutely anytime and we have no way of knowing!! I am so over anxious. It reminds me of how I felt when I was waiting to receive the call from Dr. Stack to let me know if I was "with child"! Needless to say - I was - twice!!!!
Without a doubt, my husband is a Saint just to put up with me! And my oldest son, Freddy, has been the one keeping me going! I know by now, I am driving him crazy! I know it is a lot of pressure to put on him, but I can't help it! I call him way too much - and luckily he always picks up! I ask him to come over way too much - and luckily he always comes! And I ask him way too many ridiculous questions and luckily he still answers me. On several occasions when he came to visit, I even asked him if he wanted to sleep over and that he can sleep in Doms room! He said - "No Mother, I have my own apartment - remember?" Although -God bless his soul- I must have wore him down because one night he finally said "OK Mom, I will stay!" I rested a bit easier that night!!!! I also know that he is going through a difficult time without his brother, as they are very close and always did a lot of things together. If it weren't for my precious son Freddy, I would have lost it 2 1/2 weeks ago! He is a great son! You know I have two really great sons - I am a lucky woman! Realizing and appreciating that I am such a lucky mom, right now I feel Happy but Sad - that's the only way I can explain it!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Departure Day
The morning of Dominics departure, was needless to say, very hard for me as well as my husband, young Freddy, and of course our Dominic. Maggie had text me quite early to see how I was making out and I told her that I was not handling things very well. She gave me very sound advice, that I tried to follow throughout the morning. I remember thinking how the tables have turned. Here I was hanging on Maggies every last word - taking all the advice she had to offer! It was quite ironic, because in the past, it was I who used to give her the advice! The thought of Maggie helping me out, at this time when I may have needed her most, surely was a feeling I will keep with me forever. Maggie was always like a daughter to me! She told me that its important not to let Dominic see me so hysterical because he will leave thinking that I thought he made a bad decision by joining the Navy. She told me I had to get control of my feelings. Maggie was right, as I did not want him to leave our home feeling in anyway that he was wrong, or was causing me such anguish.
I thought of a game plan and followed through with it. I got up much earlier than Dom and put on my Beatles music. Beatles music soothes me when I'm anxious, lifts me up when I am down, makes me feel like singing when I am upbeat, helps me reminisce when I need extra loving- I guess you could say it is a perfect prescription for what ails me! I listened to every Beatles song I could think of and cried, genuinely balled my eyes out, listening intently on each and every word. I mean I even cried listening to Rocky Raccoon - go figure????? And then I heard Dominic's alarm clock and I stopped crying. Just like that!
Dom woke up at 7:30 and began to get ready for his final goodbye, before he was carted away to Fort Dix. I remember as soon as he walked down the steps he looked directly at me - eyes as wide as a deer caught in headlights - i know wondering if I was alright. And I smiled at him and I could tell, although a bit shocked, that he was relieved to see me holding it together! We helped with all the last minute business, social security card - check, pocket bible - check, stationary - check, ATM bank card - check, until he had all the necessities that were allowed. It was so hard not being able to pack the things we thought for sure he would need - underwear, socks, toiletries, medicines - but were not at all allowed! I remember thinking anything he needed from home, was packed up in a tiny blue back pack, smaller than when we had sent him away to the first day of Kindergarten!!!!! How could this possibly be? Something wasn't right. But we followed the rules and packed only what was on "the list". The list that we checked and rechecked each night for the last week to be sure that we had what was needed.
Well we left and took the drive to the recruiters, but Dom didn't want us to go in with him. It was pouring that morning so he said it would be fine if we walked under the alcove to say our goodbyes. Tears began to fall as he hugged me ever so tightly and held on to me. I did not want to let my youngest son go. And then he laughed at me and pulled away telling me to stop! My husband held Dominic in his arms and just asked him to come back and told him he was proud of the man he had become! And of course, I had to go in for one last hug and kiss. He kissed me on the cheek and asked me to be okay! I promised him I would. And then he left. He looked so little to me (at 215 pounds) walking in the door.
We waited out in the parking lot in the pouring rain - afraid that something might not be right. Maybe he got the date wrong, maybe the recruiter wasn't there, maybe they told him he didn't weigh in under goal weight. I remember Fred asking me how long we were gonna wait - and I said until the recruiter left with him to bring him to Fort Dix. Fred said absolutely not - that Dom would be furious if he saw us out there. And then through the heavy rains I saw him coming towards the car. He was waving for us to come toward him. I jumped out of the car literally shaking and hollering, "He wants us go in, he wants us to go in!" And when I ran through the lot in the torrential rain, trying to get to my son, he stopped me in my tracks and said "Mom I just wanted you to pull the car up to the front so I didn't have to walk in the rain to tell you something!" I remember I started laughing because I felt so ridiculously crazy! We pulled the car around to the front and he jumped in the car and said he just came out to tell us that he was fine - he weighed in under the goal range, and he was allowed to bring all the stuff that we packed, and that he loved us and already missed us and that he would be OK. My heart felt so relieved, as tears wet my face, when he was talking to us - so maturely! I seriously felt a calming warmth inside of my chest, one that I hope to feel many more times in my life.
Those few shorts words spoken by our youngest son, relieved Fred and I, and this time when he left us to walk in the office, we were able to slowly drive away. Tears streamed down my face, with a heavy but very proud heart. Just then young Freddy had called to find out how everything went, I didn't think he could bring himself to go to the recruiters office with us. He didn't have to go into work that morning so he asked if we could all meet and go out to breakfast. I know him and his Dad were feeling sorry for me because they agreed to go down to the Mercer Cafe - my FAV breakfast spot - even though it is quite a distance from our home and we were in the midst of a torrential rain storm! They spoil me like that a lot - hehehe! We were enjoying each others company while we ate, although there was a stillness that we were feeling inside our hearts because our son and brother was not here with us. We had shared so many breakfast together our whole lives, breakfasts' that you take for granted. Without saying anything to each other, we knew then and there that things were never going to be the same again. In fact, we couldn't even bring ourselves to look in each others eyes! And our hearts were heavy. Again, Happy but Sad, that's the only way I can explain it.
I thought of a game plan and followed through with it. I got up much earlier than Dom and put on my Beatles music. Beatles music soothes me when I'm anxious, lifts me up when I am down, makes me feel like singing when I am upbeat, helps me reminisce when I need extra loving- I guess you could say it is a perfect prescription for what ails me! I listened to every Beatles song I could think of and cried, genuinely balled my eyes out, listening intently on each and every word. I mean I even cried listening to Rocky Raccoon - go figure????? And then I heard Dominic's alarm clock and I stopped crying. Just like that!
Dom woke up at 7:30 and began to get ready for his final goodbye, before he was carted away to Fort Dix. I remember as soon as he walked down the steps he looked directly at me - eyes as wide as a deer caught in headlights - i know wondering if I was alright. And I smiled at him and I could tell, although a bit shocked, that he was relieved to see me holding it together! We helped with all the last minute business, social security card - check, pocket bible - check, stationary - check, ATM bank card - check, until he had all the necessities that were allowed. It was so hard not being able to pack the things we thought for sure he would need - underwear, socks, toiletries, medicines - but were not at all allowed! I remember thinking anything he needed from home, was packed up in a tiny blue back pack, smaller than when we had sent him away to the first day of Kindergarten!!!!! How could this possibly be? Something wasn't right. But we followed the rules and packed only what was on "the list". The list that we checked and rechecked each night for the last week to be sure that we had what was needed.
Well we left and took the drive to the recruiters, but Dom didn't want us to go in with him. It was pouring that morning so he said it would be fine if we walked under the alcove to say our goodbyes. Tears began to fall as he hugged me ever so tightly and held on to me. I did not want to let my youngest son go. And then he laughed at me and pulled away telling me to stop! My husband held Dominic in his arms and just asked him to come back and told him he was proud of the man he had become! And of course, I had to go in for one last hug and kiss. He kissed me on the cheek and asked me to be okay! I promised him I would. And then he left. He looked so little to me (at 215 pounds) walking in the door.
We waited out in the parking lot in the pouring rain - afraid that something might not be right. Maybe he got the date wrong, maybe the recruiter wasn't there, maybe they told him he didn't weigh in under goal weight. I remember Fred asking me how long we were gonna wait - and I said until the recruiter left with him to bring him to Fort Dix. Fred said absolutely not - that Dom would be furious if he saw us out there. And then through the heavy rains I saw him coming towards the car. He was waving for us to come toward him. I jumped out of the car literally shaking and hollering, "He wants us go in, he wants us to go in!" And when I ran through the lot in the torrential rain, trying to get to my son, he stopped me in my tracks and said "Mom I just wanted you to pull the car up to the front so I didn't have to walk in the rain to tell you something!" I remember I started laughing because I felt so ridiculously crazy! We pulled the car around to the front and he jumped in the car and said he just came out to tell us that he was fine - he weighed in under the goal range, and he was allowed to bring all the stuff that we packed, and that he loved us and already missed us and that he would be OK. My heart felt so relieved, as tears wet my face, when he was talking to us - so maturely! I seriously felt a calming warmth inside of my chest, one that I hope to feel many more times in my life.
Those few shorts words spoken by our youngest son, relieved Fred and I, and this time when he left us to walk in the office, we were able to slowly drive away. Tears streamed down my face, with a heavy but very proud heart. Just then young Freddy had called to find out how everything went, I didn't think he could bring himself to go to the recruiters office with us. He didn't have to go into work that morning so he asked if we could all meet and go out to breakfast. I know him and his Dad were feeling sorry for me because they agreed to go down to the Mercer Cafe - my FAV breakfast spot - even though it is quite a distance from our home and we were in the midst of a torrential rain storm! They spoil me like that a lot - hehehe! We were enjoying each others company while we ate, although there was a stillness that we were feeling inside our hearts because our son and brother was not here with us. We had shared so many breakfast together our whole lives, breakfasts' that you take for granted. Without saying anything to each other, we knew then and there that things were never going to be the same again. In fact, we couldn't even bring ourselves to look in each others eyes! And our hearts were heavy. Again, Happy but Sad, that's the only way I can explain it.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The night before..........
As our friends and family said their last farewell to Dominic and left our home the night before his departure, I could feel my heartstrings breaking down. Although I had a feeling of great sadness knowing that my dear son was leaving in the morn, I felt a special warmth and happiness in my soul as I watched Dominic laughing and talking with all those who cared so deeply for him! It was cool, as family, neighbors, friends (old and new) were all here to show Dom how much they cared! I actually held up fine most of the night, although when I saw him hug people as they were leaving, I couldn't help but tear up as he gave them a big bear hug on the way out. I always considered Dominic my gentle giant, and that night, it was all I could think as I watched him ever so closely the whole evening. He was surely loved by many people and I couldn't help but keep staring at him as he genuinely cherished spending this precious time with everyone.
We had been joking earlier how tonight's Open House was actually Dominic's seventh Going Away Party. This is no joke, I am serious when I say 7 parties. Between a big bash with all Dom's friends and family at a hall, 2 separate family parties, 1 Mountain Party (given by friends), 1 College Party (Dom's friends from his former college) and a big blowout at Freddy's house (given by fred, cousins and friends) and now our Open House- the grand total was seven! Why everyone kept throwing him parties was beyond me - but we all just kept doing it! It led for a big laugh when we were figuring out the number as Fred, young Fred, Dom and I sat around talking, glad to be spending this time together before he left for this next adventure in his life.
What I remember most about this evening, although we were laughing and talking and reminiscing, I distinctly recall that we sat quietly together a lot, just thinking - I guess. When Dominic went to get ready to go upstairs to bed, one last time before he left for the Navy, he held me so tight - tighter than he had ever held me before! He kissed me on the head and then held me a bit longer and said, "I love you and I will miss you mom. You know this is something I feel I need to do and I really do want to serve my country." Tears wet my face, I felt Happy but Sad - that is the only way I can explain it.
We had been joking earlier how tonight's Open House was actually Dominic's seventh Going Away Party. This is no joke, I am serious when I say 7 parties. Between a big bash with all Dom's friends and family at a hall, 2 separate family parties, 1 Mountain Party (given by friends), 1 College Party (Dom's friends from his former college) and a big blowout at Freddy's house (given by fred, cousins and friends) and now our Open House- the grand total was seven! Why everyone kept throwing him parties was beyond me - but we all just kept doing it! It led for a big laugh when we were figuring out the number as Fred, young Fred, Dom and I sat around talking, glad to be spending this time together before he left for this next adventure in his life.
What I remember most about this evening, although we were laughing and talking and reminiscing, I distinctly recall that we sat quietly together a lot, just thinking - I guess. When Dominic went to get ready to go upstairs to bed, one last time before he left for the Navy, he held me so tight - tighter than he had ever held me before! He kissed me on the head and then held me a bit longer and said, "I love you and I will miss you mom. You know this is something I feel I need to do and I really do want to serve my country." Tears wet my face, I felt Happy but Sad - that is the only way I can explain it.
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