As Days Go Slowly By...

When we got home, the day we dropped Dom off at the recruiters, I laid on the couch and I can honestly say I never stopped crying for the entire day and night. I remember I slept on the couch that evening because I was used to waiting up for Dom to come in and it just felt right. When my husband woke me in the morn, as he was leaving for work, he told me I had to try and pull it together, blah, blah, blah. I just rolled over and cried some more.

Eventually I got up and ate (I eat under pressure), watched a little TV ( I watch TV under pressure), cried some more (I cry under pressure), then went back to sleep curled up on the couch (I sleep under pressure). I WAS A HORRIBLE MESS! And then I repeated that scenario three times throughout that day. I remember I only took one call that morning from a very close friend, who knows how emotional I can be, thinking it might help - it didn't, nothing did! Until about about 4 o'clock when the phone rang once again - and unexpectedly it was Dominic calling from the Philadelphia Airport! My heart seriously stopped when I heard his voice. I was speechless for a brief second.

Dom explained that they had gone to Fort Dix in Jersey the day before and spent the night at a hotel and now he was leaving for Chicago. He was in the Airport and excused himself to use the bathroom and found a payphone (which he said is next to impossible) and called me. My God, the feeling of relief was abundantly clear as I began laughing and rattling as he was telling me his escapade to find a phone! He told me about his evening and that he already had met a lot of really great people. It took me back to his first school day at St. Albert the Great. We had moved into the neighborhood when Dom was in second grade and he knew no-one, so we were worried about his settling into a new school. The first day he came home from school, as I close my eyes, I can still see his soft blond hair and his shining face telling me he met a new best friend already on the bus! The same way that he put my heart at ease 14 years earlier, is how he put my heart at ease now! He had to talk quickly so he could give his dad, young Freddy, and Keirstan a call before he had to get back with his group.

Keirstan, we found out the night before his departure, was going to be traveling with us to Chicago, for graduation. We had met Keirstan for the first time in the summer, and immediately liked her!!! Well Dom and her had eventually decided they weren't going to see each other anymore because they were afraid they were getting too serious - which neither of them wanted because they knew he was leaving for four years. They saw each other on and off after this and each time they did see each other - he brought her around for a visit! We could tell their was something different this time - we didn't know what - but it was a feeling that my husband and I liked (although we are both hopeless romantics when it comes to Freddy and Dom)! Anyway, the night before he left for Boot Camp, they both decided that while he is away they want to keep in contact with each other as much as possible and try to see each other as much as they are able. And I guess the bottom line is, if it was meant to be - it will be! Hence, our family welcoming Keirstan with open arms to travel to graduation with us in March.

Well to get back to my story, after he called me from the airport that Tuesday afternoon, I immediately felt better! I stopped crying as much, stopped watching TV as much, stopped sleeping as much, and luckily stopped eating as much - and got myself together and carried on with my day! He called us again that evening, which was a scheduled call from the Navy, to let us know he had arrived in Chicago safely and we would not here from him now for 2 1/2 to 3 weeks. So there you have my first night and day without my brave and courageous son!

As you may have noticed I did not put any post in this blog, since that day, since I could not find it in my heart to sit and write about it. Needless to say I carried on my everyday life, but cried way too much, ate way too much, watched TV way to much and slept way to much - trying to make it through without knowing anything that was going on with Dominic. A large package arrived after he was gone the 5th day and it was known as "Soldier in a Box" (horrible name)! It came via UPS and it was a large box with all Dominics' belongings he had on the day that he left! We were told this was to represent that he left us a KID but will return to us as a MAN! I lost it, needless to say! I want my KID - I miss my KID - I love my KID!

Well, like all mothers of servicemen, I have good nights and bad nights. Do you know that I seriously, (this is absolutely no lie), wake up between 3:00 a.m. and 3:30 a.m. each and every morning instinctively, as this is the time Dominic is waking up for revelry. You know I read that in his Navy Instruction Book, along with all the other regulations, as well as the Navy alphabet code which I can rehearse easily - which is scary, I know! I can also tell you time by the Navy clock as it is now 0 9 hundred hours, I think, as I am still trying to master this ridiculous technique! I know Dom was probably saying the same thing when he was studying this! Well, today marks the 2 1/2 week mark when we should be receiving his call and we are waiting anxiously. My heart has been pounding and each time the phone rings my hands shake as I run to answer it! It sucks because the call can come at absolutely anytime and we have no way of knowing!! I am so over anxious. It reminds me of how I felt when I was waiting to receive the call from Dr. Stack to let me know if I was "with child"! Needless to say - I was - twice!!!!

Without a doubt, my husband is a Saint just to put up with me! And my oldest son, Freddy, has been the one keeping me going! I know by now, I am driving him crazy! I know it is a lot of pressure to put on him, but I can't help it! I call him way too much - and luckily he always picks up! I ask him to come over way too much - and luckily he always comes! And I ask him way too many ridiculous questions and luckily he still answers me. On several occasions when he came to visit, I even asked him if he wanted to sleep over and that he can sleep in Doms room! He said - "No Mother, I have my own apartment - remember?" Although -God bless his soul- I must have wore him down because one night he finally said "OK Mom, I will stay!" I rested a bit easier that night!!!! I also know that he is going through a difficult time without his brother, as they are very close and always did a lot of things together. If it weren't for my precious son Freddy, I would have lost it 2 1/2 weeks ago! He is a great son! You know I have two really great sons - I am a lucky woman! Realizing and appreciating that I am such a lucky mom, right now I feel Happy but Sad - that's the only way I can explain it!